Gottman Therapy
Dr. Allen is a Certified Gottman Therapist, one of only two in Ohio. His passion throughout his career has been to provide outstanding treatment to couples. John Gottman is one of the two foremost authorities in the treatment of couples, the other being Susan Johnson. Dr. Allen has also received training from Dr. Johnson on treating marriages when one or both of the couples in therapy have sustained some form of emotional trauma.
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes for the future. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have shown how couples can accomplish this by paying attention to what they call the Sound Relationship House, or the nine components of healthy relationships.
Combining the knowledge and wisdom of nearly forty years of studies and clinical practice, Gottman Method Couples Therapy helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy in their relationships. Through research-based interventions and exercises, it is a structured, goal-oriented, scientifically-based therapy. Intervention strategies are based upon empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s study of more than 3,000 couples. This research shows what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy was developed out of this research to help partners:
Increase respect, affection, and closeness
Break through and resolve conflict when they feel stuck
Generate greater understanding between partners
Keep conflict discussions calm
Build Love Maps:
How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?
Share Fondness and Admiration:
The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)
Turn Towards:
State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and respond to (turn towards) them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.
The Positive Perspective:
The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.
Manage Conflict:
We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is a natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
Make Life Dreams Come True:
Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
Create Shared Meaning:
Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.
Trust:
This is the state that occurs when a person knows that his or her partner acts and thinks to maximize that person’s best interests and benefits, not just the partner’s own interests and benefits. In other words, this means, “my partner has my back and is there for me.”
Commitment:
This means believing (and acting on the belief) that your relationship with this person is completely your lifelong journey, for better or for worse (meaning that if it gets worse you will both work to improve it). It implies cherishing your partner’s positive qualities and nurturing gratitude by comparing the partner favorably with real or imagined others, rather than trashing the partner by magnifying negative qualities, and nurturing resentment by comparing unfavorably with real or imagined others.
The Gottman Institute Mission Statement
We understand that the human family is in crisis, and that all individuals are capable of and deserve compassion. It is our mission to reach out to families in order to help create and maintain greater love and health in relationships. We are committed to an ongoing program of research that increases the understanding of relationships and adds to the development of interventions that have been carefully evaluated. It is our goal to make our services accessible to the broadest reach of people across race, religion, class, culture, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. We are also committed to the care and support of our Institute team, as we know that compassion must begin with ourselves.
Want to know more?
Click to go to The Gottman Institute website.